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RAMBLINGS
Friday, January 05, 2007
Haix, totally lost control of myself.
I'm feeling damn sad..
Am i being too much of a nice guy here?
Although it seems like im a terrible guy(to everyone?).. seriously speaking from my heart, sometimes i think i'm just too kind to let people take advantage of.
I mean.. haix.. just because i kept quiet, but that doesn't mean i don't feel a thing!
And i kept quiet because? i wanna compromise things..
Hey c'mon, i have feelings too. And i have a terrible bad past with my feelings.. so bad... that i metomorphosis totally..
It's just so hard being a mr nice guy pleasing every single person. i just try so hard to compromise. so hard. so hard.
Being taken advantage of my feelings, is seriously reminding me of my past...
Just because of being too kind, too good, too compromised..
And people are getting so pampered... take for granted and take advantage of it...
Yeah.....
....that's what someone used to take advantage of..
i treat her so good... in the end..
it's all the same... she left..
so now..
i'm treating you guys good...
would it be the same?
So in IS group, i know i'm incapable of being the leader.
So why bother selecting me to be one in the first place?
Hello? can someone answer this for me?
WHY BOTHER?
IF I CAN'T BE THE LEADER THEN DON'T LET ME BE ONE.
I'M JUST NOT UP TO IT. SORRY.
SO IF YOU GUYS FEEL THAT YOU CAN PUSH ALL THE WORK TO ME OR SAY, WHENEVER THERE IS A PROBLEM, THE LEADER SHOULD BE RESPONSIBLE, I'M REALLY SORRY, I CAN'T BE UP TO IT.
YES, I'M A BAD LEADER SO IF YOU GUYS FEEL THAT YOU CAN SCORE BETTER WHEN THE LEADER DOES EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THINGS, KNOWINGLY THAT I CAN'T.
THEN GO AHEAD AND PUSH THE BLAME ON ME AND YOU GUYS CAN HATE ME ALL YOU WANT.
THANKS.
I'LL CONTINUE TO KEEP QUIET. SO SAY ALL YOU WANT.
AS LONG AS YOU ALL ARE HAPPY ABOUT IT.
THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE. =)
who is to cheer me up... in such times of loneliness, sadness...?
who cares? as long as everyone around me is happy... does it matter if im happy or sad anymore? does it...... sigh...
the person that knows me best is gone now...
yes, crying, these tears flow... again..
i wished i could be in the rain and let it wash away my tears
good nites. hush crybaby.
Delivered at 12:30 AM;
